A New Year's Reflection

I used to be good at mingling with people and being able to relate with them, no matter how boring or exciting or plain or unique they may be.

Now that I think about it, now that I see friends' pictures and blogs, now that I look back at my life more often than I ever used to - I realize that I'm not as good at it as I used to be.

Several thoughts come to mind as I think about it:

1. Maybe I am just much deeper now, that although I can still hang out with all sorts of people and make the most out of my time with them, I am just looking for something more than fun and games, looking into a deeper kind of understanding and a deeper thread of similarity that goes beyond interests and conversations but also from merely "wavelengths" to values.

2. Maybe my almost 3-year isolation here in the U.S. has made me lose this ability.

3. As friends of my age come to realize their life goals and who they actually are in general (which is happening to me in a similar fashion), people start to become more diverse and paths and friendships face fork-in-the-road moments when one has to go one way and the other person takes the other path.

In my 3-year isolation, I have developed a tradition of praying with brothers and sisters in the Lord as soon as the New Year arrives. Tonight, they prayed for me, that I may find company, friendship and family with the Lord, despite essentially being alone in this crazy world that I am in.

I am thinking...maybe I'm just lonely. I think about the number of people that I used to greet during the holidays. I'd remember how much anticipation I had for the clock to strike twelve every Christmas and New Year's Eve. I remember the long list of people that I had to at least send messages to. I'd remember the aftermath - the multi-page phone bill that I run up during the holidays. Despite this however, this is how it was for me before. And I found it worth the expense, and I found it fulfilling.

I have been experiencing much of my quarter life crisis, compounded by the isolation, the challenges, the triumphs and the growth, for the past few months and years. As I think about all these random thoughts, it just struck me that despite the loneliness, I have a friend in Jesus, who will always be with me. I have a friend who never gets tired of me, of my rants and raves, of my joys and pains, of my daily dose of insanity. I also realized that I have a friend that never changes - despite this crazy, changing world; despite the friends that come and go; despite the things of this world that come into pass - He never changes.

A New Year brings excitement, but it can also bring the cloud of uncertainty. We are excited about the many different blessings and opportunities that will be upon us for the coming year. But we also fear the not-so good things that may come to us. I am just glad that despite the uncertainties and excitement, there is at least one thing that I know is already ahead of me for this year - the Lord is right before me, and that He will take care of me and protect me, that He will comfort me, accompany me and love me.

A blessed New Year to all

Faith, Family

Our senior pastor would always warn us of trying to make a god out of money, being in Orange County. I believe it is a danger that anyone faces here in this country - with the relative ease of making money, it is very easy to make it your priority and forget the more important things in life. Today, the Lord taught me a lesson on this important aspect of my own life:

FAITH

Today's message was how Elizabeth and Zechariah were promised by the Lord a son after having grown old and barren. This was a fork in the road moment for them - they can either delight in the Lord's promise (to finally give them a son) or to doubt it - to rationalize that it is impossible at their age. Zechariah specifically chooses to doubt, which caused the angel Gabriel to prevent Zechariah from speaking until the child is born.

Like Zechariah, we have many questions about God and His promises for our life: Is it true? Is it possible? Am I too old? Am I good enough? Why me? Will You really do it, Lord?...and some of these questions get answered, and some of these questions do get answered.

But towards the end of Zechariah's story, the Lord gives them a son and Zechariah can now speak as the angel Gabriel has promised.

We may have a lot of questions right now: Lord, will I ever get out of this? Lord, do you really answer prayers? Lord, do you really love me? Lord, do you even hear my prayers?...but even though these questions get answered or not, one thing holds true - that if there is only one thing in this world that we can rest on and trust upon, it is the Lord's promises for our life.

I had a great opportunity to share my own faith testimony to a friend today. I have shared the moments when I have doubted Him and yet the Lord has delivered His promises far greater than I could ever think He could. And it is my prayer that everyone would be encouraged to just trust in the Lord - whether the scene looks stormy, or fuzzy, or hazy - the Lord calms the winds in your life and provides you shelter from your storm.

FAMILY

Thanks to a cousin, I watched a heart-warming video of relatives today who had grieved for the loss of a loved one. Today, I also got an opportunity to share with my friend the love that we have for our families, and how important they are - how each time together is a treasure, how each moment is a memory, and how each one is a gift from God.

With all these, I realized today that despite my doubt, one of the most important things in life is that we have faith in the Lord and that we should rest in His promises - which are true, which He would deliver.

Also, I realized that no matter how much the Lord gives (or takes away) material blessings from you, and although this is a part of His promise - to provide for you - the other most important thing is family, and that we love them.

Have a blessed day!