TWO ISSUES ON COMPROMISE: THE RESOLUTION

Finally, I have resolved this issue that has been out there for some days now. I did the very thing that I didn't want to do - and that is to go that road that the old agreeable me would go through. This time though, I did it less for other people; now I'm doing it more for myself. Just in the process, I had made myself look stupid to other people, but I just pray that the Lord gives me strength to remain firm the next time that I'm pushed to the corner (plus in any case, the bible tells us that vengeance is the Lord's).

Right now I'm just feeling very sleepy . The weather here has been at its worst for the longest time now (by longest time, I mean a couple of weeks), and I heard this morning that it'll keep on being that way til the weekend. What a way to spend the long weekend!

We had lunch at IHOP and my stupid pride made me avoid asking the difference between French, Swedish, and German toppings, pretending that I know the difference. And so I ordered something that I did not truly appreciate, although still, I'm thankful for the food that I am able to eat everyday. Teehee

I put in the rest of my computer lab time yesterday, and I kinda liked the feeling of being just a student again. For the past few semesters, I have been taking merely night classes and weekend classes to give way for work, but now I have the flexibility to go to school during the day - and that makes me feel like a normal student once more. For the past few semesters, my classmates were mostly older people, pulling their strollers to class for not being able to carry backpacks anymore, people who wore business attire, and people who shared a lot about the work that they do.

I'm just so sleepy. I wish I could close my room and just doze through the rest of the hour.

TWO ISSUES ON COMPROMISE

I just want to throw this in there --- Yesterday I posted an entry on my blogger account, and it should have shown up here, but it never did! In any case, if you find it out of the kindness of your heart to visit my blog, I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks! --- sinigangnacuteisback.blogspot.com

FIRST ISSUE

Thanks to Bachi, I have recently decided on my favorite radio station - 98.7. This thing has been going on for a couple of weeks now, and I am now more religiously listening to the radio than I was before. And besides, now I can maximize my phone, which has one of this not-so-newer feature of having an fm radio. Anyway, about the station, they do throw in a lot of "cool" music, and even if they also do the nasty habit they do here in the U.S. of playing some songs over and over again, the songs they repeat the most are the better ones.

As I was going to work today, I was listening to that station as I've been doing these past few days, and they were having a conversation on "swinging." For those who innocently don't know what this means, for Pete's sake, don't even try to understand it. Being that who I am, this kind of lifestyle is not something that I approve of, nor endorse, nor even permit. But as I was listening to the conversation, a certain curiosity wanted me through stay with it through the remainder of the talk show - a certain curiosity brought about by the desire to be more knowledgeable - to know how people who live this way think, and why they even think that this is an acceptable and more appealing way to live.

In the Christian community, there is one school of thought that tells you that as you become more mature in your faith, you get to be strong enough for you to be ready to learn things that are outside of your faith - what is not acceptable, what is against it, what contradicts it - that you may be able to have more understanding of how things of the world operate, and having that knowledge, be able to defend your faith all the more - being subjected to these forces, you come to a realization that still, after all that you've seen and known, your faith is still right and still holds true, and your faith becomes stronger.

There is however, another school of thought, that strictly guards you against any area that can become a foothold of the enemy - and golly, their definition of footholds are very rigid.

As I was listening to the conversation, I was also thinking about these things --- Should I keep on listening, banking on the strength of my faith that listening to it won't sway me in a wrong direction, but it will only help me defend my faith (that I may hear out what they have to say and I can prepare for biblical answers as I encounter people of these sorts), or do I play it safe and completely shut out my mind from all these thoughts, considering that they might become footholds for me?

I am not a perfect person as everyone is not, we fall a lot of times and get trapped into the shimmerings of this world. And in my imperfection I couldn't tell which school of thought is right, or is it just relative (if you have a stronger faith then it's okay to expose yourself to these things). But today I decided to listen to crappier stations, and just go back to my favorite station when they're playing the music that made me like them in the first place.

"Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God - truly, righteous, and holy." Ephesians 4:23-24 NLT

SECOND ISSUE

I am just so agreeable. I hate conflict and confrontations, and I have this constant weakness of not being able to say no. This is one of the areas in my life that the Lord is constantly working in me, preparing me for what we call the "real world," especially the real world we call corporate. There have been times that, by His grace, I have become successful and have stood my ground, and this is something that I'm continually trying to work hard at.

I just hate it when I have to go back to my agreeable self and just to avoid conflict, I'd have to give in to people's wiles and willies. And in fact, I have been in this situation for a couple of days now, and to some extent, I do condone myself for once again being agreeable.

But on the other hand, I also hate the people who capitalize on your weakness for their own gain. And for this reason I've been kinda under the water these past few days, irritated, confused, undecided, uncomfortable - because I hate the fact that I'm in this situation once again, and it was just a simple thing that blew out of proportions. Only if I had said no, that I wouldn't give in to other people's selfish desires, then this situation would have never come up in the first place.

Right now, a certain action is being required of me. Phone calls, emails, decisions - to settle the matter. But right now I'm just stomped - I don't know what to do. And so right now, as I have my breakfast with Jesus, I hope and pray that He gives me the wisdom to know what's the wisest thing to do now, and to give me the strength to be able to carry out whatever He asks of me to do.

I am continuously working on being firm and not to compromise myself. And so my friend, my relative, my acquaintance, my brother or sister in the faith, I ask of you to pray for me, that the Lord may continually "beef" me up in this area, and that this situation that I need to resolve immediately, may work out well, and be resolved the soonest possible time.

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil." Ephesians 6:10-11 NLT

*and this other person is a devil...teehee :D

My apologies...

Fast-paced - This is how we live our lives today. As new technological innovations spring about, a new need, a new want, arises. Then we get caught up in a web of chasing all our wants. But even just when you're trying to provide for your needs, you still get caught up in the web of busy-ness and trying to make ends meet. You try to juggle 2, or 3 jobs at a time, you're trying to do more work than you possibly can --- all for the pursuit of happiness, and survival.

The more that you get chased in this "chasing after the wind" lifestyle, the thinner your patience is. You're so tired and busy and stressed out, every comment seems like a criticism to you, each look an insult, and each sound noise. You can't bear people complaining, people with loud voices, your patience is just running very thin.

And this is where I'm at right now.

Just today at work, a colleague was whining and complaining about not being able to get reimbursement that he has requested for 2 weeks. The person in charge of this has been with him back and forth because he has not accomplished the proper requisition forms to be able to put forth such a request. His contention is that he should have been contacted on his phone, and not wait for him to be at the office before informing him of this (and on this note, I agree with him).

To cut the long story short, I was the one who carried the brunt of his whining and complaining, which rattled me, but at the same time, ticked me off. I'm just so tired of everything, and the last thing I need is a grown person whining and complaining to me.

I go back to my room and try to shake it off - the feeling of resentment for the person. I do understand that his attack was not towards me, but he was just venting out his emotions, just as much as a friend shares to another.

I have already settled down, but the person goes ahead and enters my room, and apologizes to me - for having vented out his anger at me. He goes to say that he was just really disappointed that it had taken long, and I do understand that. I had a huge sigh of relief the moment the person apologized - not that I was still holding any feelings of resentment - but the apology made me feel much better.

The important thing about this is that the person went out of the way to apologize. I do recognize it was not at me that this person was disappointed at, but still, for the inconvenience of having to absorb his disappointments, he said sorry.

I really don't like this colleague of mine that much, but this level of sensitivity I do admire. For us humans, because of our pride, it becomes very hard to apologize - even when an apology is appropriate, even when we are at fault, even when we've hurt people badly. All the more it is difficult to apologize when we feel that we did not do anything wrong.

It would be such a nice world to live in if people are sensitive enough not to inconvenince other people in any way. But it wouldn't be realistic. It might be a bit more realistic and probably about as nice a world to live in, though, if people do apologize for the inconvenience they cause others. I know this is very hard to do, but why don't you try it? Or you can go ahead and start small...let your pride down and say sorry to the people who really do deserve it - to the people whom you've really hurt badly, to the people you've been rude to.

For anyone reading this, I wanted to ask you these questions:

Who are the people that you've hurt, and have not apologized to?
Who are the people that you've hurt and you know they deserved your apology but you chose not to give it?
Who do you think are the people that you inconveniently bother the most, especially those who have not said a word about it?

To all the people that I've hurt intentionally or unintentionally, and have bothered with or without my knowledge, I apologize, and I hope you would find it in your hearts to forgive me.

"You will always harvest what you plant...So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Therefore, when we have the opportunity, do good to everyone - especially to those in the family of faith." Galatians 6:7; 9-10 NLT